It's official, I'm a commuting tortoise

Ah Autumn.... my favourite time of year... leaves turning and falling.... the smell of woodsmoke carried on crisp breezes....white sunlight.... bliss.....It's a season of all things changing....To that end, I have become a commuting tortoise, indigenous to the north eastern intercity train line and the London underground. Once a week, I pack up equal measures of sartorial and technology stuffs (socks, laptop, knickers, phone charger, trainers, GPRS card, etc.) into my nylon mesh carapace of a backpack which is fondly known as 'Mildred', slip out of the burrow in Halifax, and head to the 'big smoke'.... I am leaving the hills behind me for the flatlands of the City, Canary Wharf, and Fortnum & Mason, where I can usually be spotted at around 6:30pm on a weekday being trailed by a nicely suited member of staff who is worried about what might be 'liberated' into Mildred.Fond though I am of Mildred and intrigued by her tardis-like qualities and (what could be) an almost belligerant insistence on keeping people on the tube out of my personal space.... no one can get within 30 inches of my back thanks to Mildred.... it must be said that she weighs a ton. On a few occasions, she has also had a go at trapping me on busy tube trains... I start to move forward towards the open doors, Mildred gets 'stuck' between people, leaving me with my arms flailing and one foot up and frozen mid-forward-step.I've decided that Mildred needs some wheels, so I'm hunting for one of those little snap down trolley things so I can trail her through the streets of London and have the unmitigated joy of getting my own back on all those other people who trail luggage through the streets and always manage to clip the back of your ankles.Still, it's good to have a travelling companion. I'm spending one night a week in London and working from the office down there two days a week. Must go, Fereday has just disturbed Mildred's nap and she's bit him.... he's threatening her with a trowel.

"Others have ID ed it.
I chop them off at ground level with secutears then spray a drop or two of Praxys on the wound... if it doesnt killt he first time, it will the 2nd or 3rd"

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Comments

Sustainable Land Management October 3, 2009 at 7:36pm

great to hear another blog, I liked Andrew Garner's forum piece worrying as to where you had got to. I have to commute occasionally through London, proverbial fish out of water doesn't come close and end up waiting for my train at the Paddington end of Hyde Park, looking bewildered.
Cat Fereday October 5, 2009 at 11:04am

Get a Mildred - everything is better when you have someone to share it with!!
Sustainable Land Management October 5, 2009 at 1:11pm

Did try walking through London Waterloo with a chainsaw once, that didn't go down too well with the jolly old met. getting a good old man bag is a possibility but not sure I could cope with the uniformed following - I get so angry when one of the shop buzzers go off I think it is only time I really shout a stranger only doing their job. Basically I need to stay away from any built up area full stop.
Cat Fereday October 6, 2009 at 10:52pm

Try an i-pod loaded with the dambusters theme.....