Doughnut of doom

<<<<WARNING - EXTREMELY RUSTY BLOGGER POSTING AGAIN >>>>Like most poor sods working in and around the financial services industry, recent months have found me somewhat pre-occupied with dodging the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune'... and yes, it has been very much like the performance of a Shakespearean tragedy.... bank bosses entering stage right offering long-winded mea culpas,... the tortured Alistair 'Prince of the Treasury' Darling talking to himself in a dark corner stage left, the dark eyebrows contorting like two fat caterpillars trying to get past one another on a very skinny branch,... and Gordon Brown, entering to the beat of drums, announcing that all is saved,... maybe,.... well, most of it is saved, but there are a few small bits and pieces which may, in the fullness of time, and with the full analysis of the boffins back at the office, and subject to some 5 simple tests, may need to, perhaps, well, be (whispered tone) nationalised for a short period of time.... but wait, have you met the lovely Sarah Brown???? .... Gordo demonstrating the art of distraction.....Anyway.... in response to the tighter economic circumstances, the Fereday household has battened down the hatches... we are becoming models of frugality, imbued with a sense of restraint! And the only time I really regret this new austerity is at about 2:30 in the morning when pressing need overwhelms me and I have to get out of bed to visit the 'frozen doughnut of doom'. It's true that we've turned off the radiators in all the rooms that we don't regularly use, but we never had any source of heat in the bathroom and Chr*st Almighty it's bl**dy cold in there of a nighttime. Business finished, it's a sprint back into the bedroom, dive under the duvet and steal the hot water bottle from under Fereday's hobbit feet (which is where it usually ends up, no matter where it started out in the bed).Which brings me to the subject of this blog - the hot water bottle - it's fantastic!We have five - a velvet encased one for our bed which is very, very lovely and is now called 'Mildred', one for each of the rabbits (retro polka dot fleece covers) and a spare for the guest bedroom. The rabbits only have bottles when it's really bitter, living as they do in the warmest room in the house and wearing little fur coats.... But Mildred comes to bed with Fereday and I almost every night.With Christmas around the corner, family and friends are descending on us at an increasingly frequent rate, and the guest bottle is starting to get some regular use. Guests seem to think it's very sweet when they go up to retire and find a hot water bottle snuggled up under the covers - all part of the Fereday visitor experience - very quaint and reminiscient of times gone by... some even get a bit misty with the retro loveliness of it.... I like to thing they drift off to sleep with memories of wooden toys, times gone by, etc, etc....Then - comes the witching hour - about 2:30 in the morning..... just as I'm cursing myself for the last cup of tea before bed,.... I hear hurried footsteps across the hall towards the bathroom, followed by an "whispered" expletive and / or whimpers of pain, followed by a flush, then a dash,... and I know that guest has just got the point (and the Frozen Doughnut of Doom has claimed another victim).... Hot water bottles are not a retro nicety.... they're a necessity!
Votes: 0
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

Comments

  • Harrah, your back!

    ‘Hotties’, that’s what we called them.

    My Grandma and Grandpa lived in South Wales but moved, in their eighties, to Cambridge to be near our family. Hotties were a part of bedtime in their un-heated little terraced house along with cold and damp sheets, prickly blankets, eiderdowns, big-framed sepia photos of scary great-grandparents and a cracked po under the bed.

    Grandma was so frightened of the rubber bag exploding and burning our little feet or tummies, that she filled it with luke warm water from the tap. Needless to say, we clung to our Hottie for grim death (in case he came to claim us in that very cold bedroom) but mainly to absorb any faint heat that bag held.

    I am very envious of your luxurious velvet encased ‘Mildred’ along with the very hip retro model, but can’t help wondering, couldn’t you get the lovely bunnies to stretch out limbs akimbo on top of your bed providing you with a bunny wrap? Can’t say it would help with the 2am dash to the Frozen Doughnut of Doom but your room could be the warmest in the house to come back to.
  • Lol, I know where your coming from with the frozen doughnut of doom .. its not fun !
  • A bunny wrap is, in theory, a lovely idea.... however, for it to work requires bunnies to (1) not fight, (2) not nibble indiscriminately, and (3) not poop!!!
This reply was deleted.

You need to be a member of Landscape Juice Network to add comments!

Join Landscape Juice Network

Open forum activity

Billybop replied to Peter sellers's discussion Echo DHCA 2600 HD
"an extremely rare machine, in the UK at least, I reckon"
3 minutes ago
Fusion Media posted a blog post
For over 18 years, Telford's Forestry Contracting has been helping to establish and maintain woodlands across Scotland. Managing and maintaining around 10,000 hectares, the company undertakes everything from tree planting and woodland creation…
yesterday
Fusion Media posted a blog post
 Technology is helping golf courses reduce emissions, lower noise, and give greenkeeping teams more time to focus on course quality and player experience.The 2026 Portugal Invitational will bring together some of golf’s most respected names and…
yesterday
Peter sellers posted a discussion
Now in retirement mode and as previously.posted been looking for a cordless long reach and was going to buy something at the budget end,but as they all have the motor at the blade end making them very unbalanced along with slow blade speeds and very…
yesterday
Jonathan rawlings is now a member of Landscape Juice Network
Sunday
John F replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"On choosing the height of my henchman Tim it was easy it was determined by the height of my valued regular bread and butter customers hedge height requirements so I could work on them without them having to resort to getting contractors in .
Another…"
Saturday
Duncan Neville replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"Spot on! I had a heavy fall from a tripod ladder, and part of my safety check now is a taught chain and front leg vertical and midway between both back legs. Absolutely never lean, always cut immediately in front of you! "
Saturday
Tim Wallach replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"They had the niwaki pro to try out at NEC Gardeners World.  Reassuringly robust.   I'm still contemplating 8 vs 10 vs 12 though.
i can't reply to all the helpful comments and suggestions but it's appreciated to have the wisdom of you all. "
Saturday
Chris Kilbride and daVally Garden Services Limited joined Landscape Juice Network
Thursday
daVally Garden Services Limited updated their profile
Thursday
Fusion Media posted a blog post
Replay Group has appointed James Kimmings as its new Digital and Online Analyst, reinforcing the company's commitment to growing its digital presence and supporting its continued expansion. James joins Replay after almost four years at Pitchcare,…
Thursday
sarah croud @sarahcrouddesign updated their profile photo
Jun 24
sarah croud @sarahcrouddesign updated their profile
Jun 24
Adam Woods replied to Peter sellers's discussion Cordless drill
"THe Aldi and Lidl ranges are good, I havent used their drills, but lots of other battery tools, they work well, and have a battery that can be used in different things in the range.
Theyve also been through the companies German QC processes
 "
Jun 24
Adam Woods replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"I used to have an 8' 3 leg adjustable when I had the business.... I added a 4' NIwaki a year or so later.... I didnt have any hedges that needed anything higher - I still have the 4', its invaluable"
Jun 24
Fusion Media posted a blog post
Redexim is pleased to announce the launch of the Sandstorm. The Sandstorm is a self-powered topdresser that works without a tractor or hydraulic connection. Simply hitch it to a utility vehicle and spread. It has a 28 ft³ (800 L) capacity and can…
Jun 24
More…

Echo DHCA 2600 HD

Now in retirement mode and as previously.posted been looking for a cordless long reach and was going to buy something at the budget end,but as they all have the motor at the blade end making them very unbalanced along with slow blade speeds and very…

Read more…
1 Reply · Reply by Billybop 3 minutes ago
Views: 42

Cordless drill

Now in retirement mode so dug out my old cordless drill that was bought from Argos a long time sgo for £10 to start all those jobs that have been put off. Its dead but to be fair has been used extensively for fencing jobs.Just need something simple…

Read more…
5 Replies · Reply by Adam Woods Jun 24
Views: 105

Stiga 955

Hi all. I have a Stiga 955 purchased 14 months ago. It gets used maybe 4 hours weekly. Almost a year to the day the drive belt went on it, so I put a new one on. Two months later with maybe 30 hours use the bloody thing has gone again. Does anyone…

Read more…
5 Replies · Reply by Sam Bainbridge Jun 22
Views: 184