Healthy Eating

Just received this from a friend. If it causes any offence I'll gladly remove it.In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.And then ............. Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITIONAfter an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health. :1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than usCONCLUSION : Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.Send this to at least 14 friends in the next 60 minutes to receive absolutely nothing back and something good may not happen, but may, or again may not, but who cares, cos it's funny.HERE END'TH THE TALE
Votes: 0
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

Comments

This reply was deleted.

You need to be a member of Landscape Juice Network to add comments!

Join Landscape Juice Network

Open forum activity

Fusion Media posted a blog post
For over 18 years, Telford's Forestry Contracting has been helping to establish and maintain woodlands across Scotland. Managing and maintaining around 10,000 hectares, the company undertakes everything from tree planting and woodland creation…
yesterday
Fusion Media posted a blog post
 Technology is helping golf courses reduce emissions, lower noise, and give greenkeeping teams more time to focus on course quality and player experience.The 2026 Portugal Invitational will bring together some of golf’s most respected names and…
yesterday
Peter sellers posted a discussion
Now in retirement mode and as previously.posted been looking for a cordless long reach and was going to buy something at the budget end,but as they all have the motor at the blade end making them very unbalanced along with slow blade speeds and very…
yesterday
Jonathan rawlings is now a member of Landscape Juice Network
Sunday
John F replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"On choosing the height of my henchman Tim it was easy it was determined by the height of my valued regular bread and butter customers hedge height requirements so I could work on them without them having to resort to getting contractors in .
Another…"
Saturday
Duncan Neville replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"Spot on! I had a heavy fall from a tripod ladder, and part of my safety check now is a taught chain and front leg vertical and midway between both back legs. Absolutely never lean, always cut immediately in front of you! "
Saturday
Tim Wallach replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"They had the niwaki pro to try out at NEC Gardeners World.  Reassuringly robust.   I'm still contemplating 8 vs 10 vs 12 though.
i can't reply to all the helpful comments and suggestions but it's appreciated to have the wisdom of you all. "
Saturday
Chris Kilbride and daVally Garden Services Limited joined Landscape Juice Network
Thursday
daVally Garden Services Limited updated their profile
Thursday
Fusion Media posted a blog post
Replay Group has appointed James Kimmings as its new Digital and Online Analyst, reinforcing the company's commitment to growing its digital presence and supporting its continued expansion. James joins Replay after almost four years at Pitchcare,…
Thursday
sarah croud @sarahcrouddesign updated their profile photo
Jun 24
sarah croud @sarahcrouddesign updated their profile
Jun 24
Adam Woods replied to Peter sellers's discussion Cordless drill
"THe Aldi and Lidl ranges are good, I havent used their drills, but lots of other battery tools, they work well, and have a battery that can be used in different things in the range.
Theyve also been through the companies German QC processes
 "
Jun 24
Adam Woods replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"I used to have an 8' 3 leg adjustable when I had the business.... I added a 4' NIwaki a year or so later.... I didnt have any hedges that needed anything higher - I still have the 4', its invaluable"
Jun 24
Fusion Media posted a blog post
Redexim is pleased to announce the launch of the Sandstorm. The Sandstorm is a self-powered topdresser that works without a tractor or hydraulic connection. Simply hitch it to a utility vehicle and spread. It has a 28 ft³ (800 L) capacity and can…
Jun 24
Geoffrey King replied to Tim Wallach's discussion Tripod ladder user? Your advice sought please!
"Of course they are more akward to carry, but using a regular ladder now feels preposterous.
I thought long and hard about tripod ladders before getting the 12 ft one over 10 years ago.
Well one clear advantage they have, they stand up by themselves.…"
Jun 24
More…

Echo DHCA 2600 HD

Now in retirement mode and as previously.posted been looking for a cordless long reach and was going to buy something at the budget end,but as they all have the motor at the blade end making them very unbalanced along with slow blade speeds and very…

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 40

Cordless drill

Now in retirement mode so dug out my old cordless drill that was bought from Argos a long time sgo for £10 to start all those jobs that have been put off. Its dead but to be fair has been used extensively for fencing jobs.Just need something simple…

Read more…
5 Replies · Reply by Adam Woods Jun 24
Views: 105

Stiga 955

Hi all. I have a Stiga 955 purchased 14 months ago. It gets used maybe 4 hours weekly. Almost a year to the day the drive belt went on it, so I put a new one on. Two months later with maybe 30 hours use the bloody thing has gone again. Does anyone…

Read more…
5 Replies · Reply by Sam Bainbridge Jun 22
Views: 184