Healthy Eating

Just received this from a friend. If it causes any offence I'll gladly remove it.In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.And then ............. Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITIONAfter an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health. :1.Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than usCONCLUSION : Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.Send this to at least 14 friends in the next 60 minutes to receive absolutely nothing back and something good may not happen, but may, or again may not, but who cares, cos it's funny.HERE END'TH THE TALE
Votes: 0
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

Comments

This reply was deleted.

You need to be a member of Landscape Juice Network to add comments!

Join Landscape Juice Network

Open forum activity

Peter sellers replied to David Benson's discussion liquid moss killer
"Pro kleen liquid iron sulphate direct from Pro kleen around £21 for 2x5lts delivered. We put 2.5lts in a 12lt knapsack, thoroughly wet area, avoid hot windy days.
Have used it for years highly recommend."
20 hours ago
Martin Ashdown posted a discussion
We chat over knowing your numbers, eating frogs and RASI forms. Please like and share to help us grow this channel.https://open.spotify.com/episode/0PwhpTOoJrhqiyRRK32qM7?si=252f7534...
20 hours ago
Dave Colton replied to David Benson's discussion liquid moss killer
"I haven't use liquid iron but do use soluble iron sulphate, takes a wee bit more mixing as it's a powder but I find it goes further and is cheaper than the liquid, I get mine from agrigem."
yesterday
David Benson posted a discussion
i have to treat some small areas of lawn with a lot of paving round them and one area there is a swiming pool. my usual way is lawn sand and a broardcast spredder but this is not ideal for this job, what liquid killer do you recomend for a knapsack…
yesterday
James Brett liked Martin Ashdown's discussion Two Ordinary Blokes in Business Podcast
Sunday
James Brett updated their profile
Sunday
Bryn Edmondson updated their profile
Sunday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Horrible in the wet just shows we are all different. I wouldn't even consider hayter for the terrible collection reason"
Sunday
Groundleader replied to Peter sellers's discussion Retirement advice
"This is definitely NOT my field of expertise, but I'd guess what most buyers might be interested in, could include:
1)  What's the realistic market value of your "hard" assets (vehicles, machinery, tools, materials etc).
2)  For the "goodwill" part…"
Saturday
Greenlawns replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"I've used Hayter harrier 56 pro mowers for 30 years . They're the best for maintenance,  admittedly not great in the wet , but I wouldn't change . "
Saturday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Interesting with the weibang I've had 1 for 5yrs bought new and it's been fine nothing to report as of yet which compared to the honda new needing a new back end after 18 months."
Saturday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Buy an old Honda roller mower, the new ones break in 18 months and cost you £500 that is then repeated every 12 months.
Either a honda or others the same which actually came out of the same factory with different names, sharp, lawnflite, kaaz, all…"
Saturday
Max alam posted a discussion
Im looking for my first 100 founding members to join and use canopy and i have approx 65 spaces left.. if your in the UK running a garden maintenance / landscaping company and could be intrested , feel free to enter the waiting list.Thecanopyapp.com
Thursday
Tim Bucknall replied to Daniel Gillings @ DC inc's discussion Rumble strips in lawn!
"Can you change the direction of mowing? Always using a roller mower in the same pattern can cause this.
 "
Thursday
Max alam posted a discussion
does anyone find themselves spending money on an invoicing and qouting app? do some of you use tradify to manage bookings and schedule?whats the best way to manage workflow when you get busy in the season ?
Apr 27
Paul Errington replied to Daniel Gillings @ DC inc's discussion Rumble strips in lawn!
"Try using a Turf Teq Power Rake to smooth it out. It will mill off the high spots and work the spoil into the low bits."
Apr 27
More…

how good does this look?

Im looking for my first 100 founding members to join and use canopy and i have approx 65 spaces left.. if your in the UK running a garden maintenance / landscaping company and could be intrested , feel free to enter the waiting list.Thecanopyapp.com

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 38

Invoicing / Quoting

does anyone find themselves spending money on an invoicing and qouting app? do some of you use tradify to manage bookings and schedule?whats the best way to manage workflow when you get busy in the season ?

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 49