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Firstly this is tongue in cheek and just my personal view on things – whilst all true I wouldn’t recommend anyone adopting this approach!

And before anyone asks, yes I was a certified psychometric tester and holder of certificates for recruitment, interviewing and staff performance management etc. and fully understand the legalities of interviewing. The following came about as I am in the process of recruiting more staff and as I have had mixed results in the past I felt it was prudent to review all the CV’s from people who applied over the years and review all the interview notes that I retained and to think about what previous staff members were great to see anyone one thing jumped out which would help weed out the wheat from the chaff.

Most people write on their CV that they are team players, loyal, customer focused and all the other buzz words and the job as the interviewer is of course to ask relevant questions to test them and gauge if they would fit into your business, however sometimes you need to think out of the box and look at the actual person hence personality traits and profiling.


The findings and in no particular order of importance!

The surfing dude: I personally like these types, reminds me of myself when I had hair. Sociable, no real hang ups, happy to get stuck in can work alone or part of a team. Disadvantages – prone to leave if a better opportunity arose. Have an unhealthy attraction to wearing shorts in the winter.

The bearded one: May be its just me but just can’t seem to trust anyone who sports a beard particularly if they also wear a beanie hat.

The creative type: These tend to be young guys who had dreams of being graphic designers. Excellent grass cutters, fast learners but get bored with the more mundane gardens or other manual tasks.

The ex IT worker: The same could apply to others seeking a career change. Get the right one it can be a win win, however most have unrealistic expectations on wages and or how much capital expenditure the company can realistically afford at a drop of a hat.

The ex self employed gardener: These tend to phone you – they are struggling to find clients, been in business for years but all of a sudden they lost all their clients etc. Desperate for work have a few tools etc. Only draw back they believe that are worth £25 to £30 an hour when really £17 max. And that’s being generous. Personally I would never employ these people but have been known to pass work onto them if they appear honest and genuine.

The long term unemployed: Once you filter out the one who have only applied as the Job Centre have told them they must to keep receiving their benefits! You can find some great staff, just need to help and encourage them to your way of working.

The ladies: I have found that if they have the build / strength to do the job, these ladies are some of the best grass cutters around, okay may be not always the quickest but 100% reliable, consistently good workers and okay a bit sexist here but the vans don’t smell quite so much of rotting grass and the appearance / personal hygiene of the lads improves.

People who play the guitar: Similar to the creative ones but can be primadonna’s!

Young lads who have recently passed their driving test: Total petrol heads! They love using the power tools and ride-on’s, only drawback they can be a bit slap dash and their work requires constant monitoring.

Ex arm forces: Excellent staff members, they like procedures and set routines.

Semi-retired: Can be a useful addition to the team, particularly if you need to have staff working for half a day at one site etc.

The stroppy teenager / young adult: These have great potential but need a lot of supervision and guidance. Careful as they have a love affair with their mobile phone and can’t see why its a problem to text their mates whilst on client premises. If you can find a keen one with the right attitude you could be on to a winner.

And here are some of the more memorable “quotes” from some of the interviews in the past that you don’t want to hear!!

“I’m sure it was just over ten years that I signed the sex offenders register”

“My parole officer said that my addiction to stealing off washing lines can be controlled”

“Would my tagging device get damaged?”

“I suffer from really bad hay fever”

“I don’t do early mornings”

“Are you serious that you work in the rain?!”
My search for a young surfing dude female who has been unemployed for a year and previously completed basic training in the army would be idea! Perhaps I should try the X-Factor method for selection? :-)