I'm not paranoid, but they are out to get me..... I think I should stay home....

Events are conspiring to heighten my worry levels.....Today I heard that Darwin's Cambridge College kept the books he read while he was at College.... this has me worried.... when at college, Darwin wasn't expected to amount to much.... but they still kept his books!!!!! ..... I'm pretty sure I won't amount to anything near international (or national or even local area) notoriety, but now I'm worried that if I do, Sister Lucille will dig out a box of books from the university archives and expose my impoverished reading habits to world scrutiny.... yelp... I can see it now, one day of glory and media coverage (well, 'The Yorkshire Evening Post' anyway) for being the woman who survived being hit by a very small meteor (or one winged seagull, or mysterious wheel of cheese, etc....) followed by years of ridicule for being the English Lit major who read the full "Interview with a Vampire" series, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure - the book of the film", a raft of Barbara Cartlands (the shame!!!!!!)... and god knows what other shlock fiction... oh, god, I've just remembered.... pretty much four years of the National Enquirer (for the uninitiated, the National Enquirer is to Heat magazine what Metro is to the Financial Times)... Clearly, I'm going to have to avoid achieving anything significant or being near any significant event..... I'm just not going outside again.....EBAY has changed.... it now tells you when you have 'watchers'.... people who are 'keeping an eye' on the things you're selling... this is a bit sinister.... we seem to have 'watchers' on alot of things (we're doing a life laundry at the moment) and I'm feeling somewhat, well, exposed..... I'm definitely not going outside again and I'm not turning on the computer....Two nights ago... the kettle turned itself on in the middle of the night..... I'm definitely not going outside again, I'm not turning on the computer, I'm keeping all the lights on and I'm going to stare the kettle out.....From now on, I stay in the house, resting on soft furnishings while reading improving books..... Somehow I don't think this "I'm clearly in danger" paranoid ruse is going to float with Fereday... I'm sure he's going to turf me back out to the office again tomorrow....For anyone who hasn't guessed, today was my first day back in the office again since starting holiday on 12 December..... it was the LONGEST MONDAY I've ever experienced.... ever...

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Comments

Kerrie John-The garden design Co January 6, 2009 at 7:51am

Yes, and you were being watched.........
Richard Loader January 6, 2009 at 9:18pm

Life Laundry.......hmmm, sounds like something I should have a go at.....
Cheers
Richard
Cat Fereday January 7, 2009 at 5:28pm

Life laundry is going great so far - we're getting money for stuff we don't use.... which we're going to spend on stuff we like... like keeping the car running!