Christmas Crunch.... or why wooden pull toys don't cut it with the WII generation....

The lovely neighbour kids are new additions to our Christmas shopping list. It's added a whole new dimension to my shopping experience, specifically the virtual toy aisle – and by virtual I mean on the web, and not 'virtual toys' which would imply a substandard not-quite there Barbie hologram.Perhaps because Fereday and I are, respectively, PUNK and PANK (Professional Uncle / Aunt, No Kids), I find toy shopping particularly challenging. While I adore the zero-redeeming factor mutant egg thing that lights up sporadically and makes a funny noise, I can't bring myself to buy it..... I seem to be hard-wired to seek out educational value. Perhaps it's the Catholic upbringing.... NOTHING can have as its sole purpose being completely 'fun' with no strings attached... Then again, perhaps its just a manifestation of the human condition... the eternal search for meaning... even if that's the meaning in a Micro-machine with flashing woo-woo lights which, sadly, I loved, but didn't buy. I also loved the idea of Moon Sand sculpting.... but again, no sale.So anyway, I've ended up with a giant remote control Tarantula from the Natural History Museum toy collection. I tell myself this has redemptive value - clearly there is the 'bug-ology' element and then there's also the hand/eye coordination and understanding of the mechaniccs of octopoidal movement. It has also, I understand, won awards for being a good toy. Hurrah. Deep inside, though, I know it's really just a fantastic way for lovely neighbour child to scare the bejeebers out of people.... I also bought it because it gives Fereday and me kudos-points for being cool.And just in case anyone is going to remind me that I hate spiders.... I haven't forgotten... the bug only has a 9 metre range, which is further apart than our houses.... and neatly tucked into the present packaging will be a note from me warning aforementioned child that the Tarantula is given on condition that I NEVER EVER EVER have to see it.

"Personally I think it's gardeners time to cash in we've been cheap for to long and now that people are lazy we have the pick. I've got 9 big jobs on a waiting list for when I have a gap.not to mention all the small gardens I'm at £35hr now and…"

"I bought a no name petrol blower on eBay for £30 as temporary fix. I expected it to last 6 months but 2 years later it's still going strong. It's a copy of the Stihl Bg 56. You don't always get what you pay for. "

"Hat's off to you for persevering with them Graham. Surely one of the best aspects of British life is blokes patiently and skillfully fixing things in the shed. Sounds a nightmare product to me, whether it was a blower or something else, I wouldn't…"

Comments

steve loftus December 6, 2008 at 9:28am

a very cool choice of toy,i i may say so,we were up at the history museums with my 2,3 and 7 year olds last week after visiting santa at harrods and they loved it,even at such a young age,lots of hands on stuff to do.
PRO

Alan Neath December 7, 2008 at 2:03am

My brother has 3 little girls under 9, and each year i agonise over decisions for a suitable present, often 3 of the same, so there is no danger of tears on Christmas morning. I particularly feel bad about the prospect of buying "meaningless stuff" which is destined to the back of the wardrobe within a week. I hoping to have a flash of your inspiration any day now!
Are we taking any bets that your spider will manage a little visit to you...soon ?
Cat Fereday December 7, 2008 at 10:01pm

We are planning to be very strict with the child to prevent the spider coming anywhere near the house... we are also keeping a bucket of water and a broom by the back door just in case....
Charlotte Noar December 8, 2008 at 10:10am

Funnily enough i happened to have a dream last night that i was bitten twice by a tarantula.... I'm sure a psychiatrist would be able to tell me what that means. But it seems a serendipitous article!
Kerrie John-The garden design Co December 10, 2008 at 6:26pm

Hey PUNK & PANK, it maybe worth letting the little angles know that rolling pins are positioned by the front and back doors for the purpose of smashing said spider to small splinters if they manage to cross the 9mt range.

Kids these days, internet search - type in, 'how to make spider go more than 9mts and scare the bejeebers out of Cat' It's all there!!
Cat Fereday December 10, 2008 at 8:36pm

No it isn't - I've just tried it... there's going to be coal in your stocking!!!!