Boxes, elder bun issues, jam and stuff

It is a widely held belief that Coleridge indulged in illegal substances.... at some point, he wrote the following....."In Xanadu did Kubla Khan an ancient pleasure dome decreeWhere Alph the sacred river ran through caverns measureless to man down to a sunless sea...."What I'd like to know is: Is this really just a fanciful description of a sewer system?Oh dear... things are just right royal bonkers around this place at the moment. Anything that isn't nailed down is being packed up into boxes or tagged as boot sale fodder, even though we don't have a moving date or indeed, perhaps more importantly, anything to move into! Fereday is jamming and jellying at a frenetic pace. I'm assuming this activity helps him to cope with the desire to pack everything up and pare down living standards to the point of subsistence camping. We have white currant and lavender, black currant, blueberry, balsamic vinegar and strawberry... you name it, we've boiled it up and put it in a kilner jar! My courgette plants have gone nuclear and I have a speciman from the round courgette variety plant downstairs in the living room that is about the size of a pumpkin.... seriously, it is bigger than a head.... sitting in the window, it must give people driving past the house at night with their headlights casting onto it a bit a shock...On top of it all, the eldest rabbit is now officially incontinent - and I don't mean he's floating away from Europe as the result of movement in the tectonic plates, I mean he wees on you when you pick him up. On the wrong side of 35, I find myself pootling down the diaper isle and picking up these disposable changing mat things which are expensive, completely non-eco and, with the lack of an accompanying package of diapers or any jars of baby gunk, probably make me look really weird as I plonk them on the grocery track belt at the checkout alongside the case of wine, bottle of gin and carton of fags..... Being disapproved of by a spotty, greasy-haired teenager is a completely new sensation....

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Comments

Kerrie John-The garden design Co August 1, 2009 at 12:37pm

Being disapproved of by a spotty, greasy-haired teenager is a completely new sensation....

Try living here, I have two of them, Could lend you them if you want some training.
Cat Fereday August 2, 2009 at 7:47pm

That's very kind of you, and I may take you up on a loan of two when we're moving boxes into the new house!!!! That should really p*ss them off - feel free to use hard labour for the annoyingly nasal American in winter as a threat!
Kerrie John-The garden design Co August 3, 2009 at 7:45pm

Henry for one would love to help an 'annoyingly nasal American' (although your not, well yes you are an American) he often asks what the Fereday's are up to.

Dylan, ummm, you would not believe what he has been up. He has spent five days putting flyers through every letterbox in two villages (3000+ and has a map) for a LANDSCAPING company. And it isn't mine! He will defo do 'hard labour' and move boxes in the rain (preferably snow) in winter with no coat. Payback for being a traitor!
Cat Fereday August 4, 2009 at 11:12pm

Have 18 year old neice coming over to help.... does that offer any encouragement, do you think (course, may be bringing gangly boyfriend - but you don't have to tell them that!!!)

Aren't traitors made to walk planks?????