Well duh!

Standing on the precipice of redundancy with only the dead tree root which is my technical knowledge keeping me from plummeting down into the valley of cohabiting with the in-laws as I am.... I'm constantly on the look out for new career avenues and I think I have found my niche. While watching another rerun of the Sarah Beenie Show (a.k.a. Property Ladder) over dinner, I found myself yelling at the set in much the same manner as a fanatical Stoke City fan - though thankfully not spilling my tea all over the settee. I have now decided to offer my services to all of these home / garden / parenting / small business improvement shows as a freelance "Reality Server"... simply, when things just get too ridiculous, I can be wheeled into frame on a little trolley and, raising my eyes heavenward while gesturing in a wildly fed-up manner (I was born in Italy) and say, "Well DUHHHH". While delivering a much needed dose of reality to the contestants / participants a la know-it-all-teenager (think Harry Enfield's 'Kevin'), I will also be providing much needed catharsis to the audience and presenter, Beenie, Colin and Justin, etc. Eventually - when Paxman retires - I could branch out into current events shows.... In the meantime, look out for me pitching this on Dragon's Den!!!! At the very least, I should get good odds on Debra Meaden throwing me down the stairs!!!!!!
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  • PRO
    If you are made redundant - and I sincerely hope you are not - then write a book because I feel pretty certain that you would have 212 buyers straight away - you are a natural!

    Something along the lines of 'The revolving life of a gardeners wife' - I can almost see the film too and I wonder who Hollywood would (try saying that fast, it is a bit like an Edward Woodwoodwood) have lined up to play Fereday?

    Maybe Fereday would play himself but, if they did make a film, would he do his own weeding and pruning shots or would he insist on a stunt double?
  • Ha ha ha!! Fereday has suggested Johnny Depp - while I aspire to the Nigella / De Thame standard... in all honesty, I think that Katie Brand with a voice over by Joan Rivers would be more realistic! And, sad to say, Fereday would never let anyone else do the weeding and pruning - he wouldn't let anyone near his beloved Felco's!
  • Hey! I'm not that precious!
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Kieran Ray replied to Jon Chandler's discussion Growth/Shoots in lawn
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Growth/Shoots in lawn

Hi All, In a cleints garden, I'm having a real problem with these shoots that are coming up in the lawn.I'm digging them out as I go, they are on long roots. they have an oval shape leaf and develop nasty thorns. See pics.Can anyone help identify…

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