Well duh!

Standing on the precipice of redundancy with only the dead tree root which is my technical knowledge keeping me from plummeting down into the valley of cohabiting with the in-laws as I am.... I'm constantly on the look out for new career avenues and I think I have found my niche. While watching another rerun of the Sarah Beenie Show (a.k.a. Property Ladder) over dinner, I found myself yelling at the set in much the same manner as a fanatical Stoke City fan - though thankfully not spilling my tea all over the settee. I have now decided to offer my services to all of these home / garden / parenting / small business improvement shows as a freelance "Reality Server"... simply, when things just get too ridiculous, I can be wheeled into frame on a little trolley and, raising my eyes heavenward while gesturing in a wildly fed-up manner (I was born in Italy) and say, "Well DUHHHH". While delivering a much needed dose of reality to the contestants / participants a la know-it-all-teenager (think Harry Enfield's 'Kevin'), I will also be providing much needed catharsis to the audience and presenter, Beenie, Colin and Justin, etc. Eventually - when Paxman retires - I could branch out into current events shows.... In the meantime, look out for me pitching this on Dragon's Den!!!! At the very least, I should get good odds on Debra Meaden throwing me down the stairs!!!!!!

For over 18 years, Telford's Forestry Contracting has been helping to establish and maintain woodlands across Scotland. Managing and maintaining around 10,000 hectares, the company undertakes everything from tree planting and woodland creation…

Technology is helping golf courses reduce emissions, lower noise, and give greenkeeping teams more time to focus on course quality and player experience.The 2026 Portugal Invitational will bring together some of golf’s most respected names and…

Now in retirement mode and as previously.posted been looking for a cordless long reach and was going to buy something at the budget end,but as they all have the motor at the blade end making them very unbalanced along with slow blade speeds and very…

Comments

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Phil Voice September 2, 2008 at 7:49am

If you are made redundant - and I sincerely hope you are not - then write a book because I feel pretty certain that you would have 212 buyers straight away - you are a natural!

Something along the lines of 'The revolving life of a gardeners wife' - I can almost see the film too and I wonder who Hollywood would (try saying that fast, it is a bit like an Edward Woodwoodwood) have lined up to play Fereday?

Maybe Fereday would play himself but, if they did make a film, would he do his own weeding and pruning shots or would he insist on a stunt double?
Cat Fereday September 3, 2008 at 7:39pm

Ha ha ha!! Fereday has suggested Johnny Depp - while I aspire to the Nigella / De Thame standard... in all honesty, I think that Katie Brand with a voice over by Joan Rivers would be more realistic! And, sad to say, Fereday would never let anyone else do the weeding and pruning - he wouldn't let anyone near his beloved Felco's!
Andrew Fereday September 3, 2008 at 9:06pm

Hey! I'm not that precious!