Thanks for that Sir Alan - that's the phone bill through the roof! - LJN Blog Posts

Fereday's birthday is on the horizon... he's notoriously difficult to shop for.... luckily for me, he's asked for what Red Letter Days would probably sell as an 'activity present'... basically, he wants to go to his first auction... I'm guessing that Ebay just isn't hitting the buttons like it used to... so we're off to Luddendenfoot to Calder Valley Auctions and then out to lunch post-auction.... aside from drawing up a small reference table of amounts in increments of £10 showing the 12.5% buyer's premium plus VAT, there isn't much else for me to do other than set the alarm clock, pack some money, and pick a nice spot for lunch... Hooray!... Or, there wasn't much for me to do until we saw tonight's episode of the Apprentice...Every year Sir Alan puts his smucks up for a novice go on a home-shopping channel... one team picked a 'revolutionary' gardening product for picking up leaves... the kind of thing you could make yourself by tying two old rakes together (and by 'rakes', I don't mean Barry Humphreys and Richard E Grant!).... The groovily titled 'Grabosaurus' could be yours for just £24.99 + £3.99 p & p..... as demonstrated, it certainly looked much more of a pain in the proverbial than using one of those other 'revolutionary' items - a broom or a rake or a teenager to pick up the leaves in the garden.... but there you go, some people will buy anything.... And here's the rub... because the darn thing has been on the tellie, at prime time, on a mainstream station, there's a fair chance that someone of our acquaintance will have seen it and think it just the job for Fereday's birthday... the thinking is something like this... "He's a gardener... it's for use in the garden... he'll love it!" The reality is that he'll be very polite about it, try it out at least once, and then guilty consign it to the cellar.We have a stock of things which are aimed by retail purveyors at the 'gardener demographic' and which have been purchased for Fereday (in some cases, purchased by me, I have to admit) - generally there are two categories:(1) things with a normal, everyday function, but singled out for the gardening population by being shaped like little sheds, watering cans or flower pots... (though he did once get a little spade-shaped radio which was really sweet and got pretty good reception, though we kept it for use at home as it would have been clobbered on site)(2) multi-tool / time and labor saving 'revolutionary' devices.....Very few are genuinely useful for the professional gardening company where tools and accessories need to take a battering... as for 'revolutionary', well, I've yet to see a multi-tool which was working itself up to leading the people of Cuba out of communism or even the people of Hebden Bridge into reintroducing the plastic shopping bag in an anti-eco backlash.....So, tomorrow, I'll be on the phone.... "...just thought I'd ring to catch up.... how are you?... and the boys?... good, good... yes, not far off now, are you free that weekend... an auction in Luddendenfoot... yes, well, he's never been to one before... oh, just the thing, really? What is it? I'm intrigued... a leaf grabber thing... oh, I think that's too much, really, you shouldn't.... look, really, just a card.... he's got so many tools... you know, I think he might already have one... looks like two rakes, you say... yes, I'm fairly sure I've seen something like that downstairs.....yes, well.... and how are things at the office, then?...."

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Comments

PRO

Phil Voice May 28, 2009 at 6:51am

I've got a Grab-O-Saurus Cat ;-0)
Andrew Fereday May 28, 2009 at 9:26pm

I don't think I can handle the shame of owning a 'Something-O-Something' And Grab-O-Saurus makes it sound like an Irish cleptomaniac dinosaur.

*Shakes head and tuts loudly*
Cat Fereday May 28, 2009 at 10:27pm

Thanks Phil - that's me 'knocked off my blog'.... bet you don't use it all that often, though... and why was poor Donna tasked with gathering the horse dung???
PRO

Phil Voice May 29, 2009 at 11:46am

No, I don't use it. I must admit, for anyone fit enough, just bending down with a couple of stiff boards is a faster way to pick up garden waste.

This is ideal for anyone who cannot bend or if you want to collect thorny clippings.

"why was poor Donna tasked with gathering the horse dung??? " - Because they are Donna's horses :-0)
Kerrie John-The garden design Co June 1, 2009 at 9:25pm

I know it won't be of use to Fereday, but could be useful in the over stocked car in a traffic jam, for you!. One word - SHEWEE! http://www.shewee.com/
Cat Fereday June 1, 2009 at 9:51pm

Kerrie - LIKE NEVER!