It's hot!Regrettably, it's time to share the not so fabulous side of being a gardener's wife.... well, this is supposed to be warts and all.... It's true that 'Rubenesque' is a beautiful word, but no one really wants it to be used in a description of themselves, so it's in with the Special K and skimmed milk (skimmed of all the taste) and Fereday eating extra Chorizo with everything.... It's sod's law (or possibly Cat's Conundrum) that at precisely the time of year when I need to be dropping the odd stone or two, Fereday needs to be consuming 200% of the GDA of protein and about 3,000 calories a day to keep going.... It's enough to make me give up the air conditioned office for the sweltering outdoors - or it was until I was nearly overcome with the heat after working in the garden on Saturday - don't worry, I revived with a big glass of wine at the Brasserie on the Bull in Halifax (which is excellent, by the way), but not before I misread a menu entry as 'All sharing platters are served with bread and dripping'.... it actually said 'bread and dipping oil', but there you go, I was weakened by sun stroke and trying to read the menu Fereday was looking at upsidedown! What with the diet, I'm finding that menus are like porn... restaurant owners in Halifax will soon be shooing me away from their doorsteps and wiping spittle from the little glass display boxes which they put their menus in.....As we move into summer and the hot weather, I'm deperate to drop the 'winter doughnut', especially as Fereday's wintertime 'sweater basketball' is a thing of distant memory!.... so I'm getting up in the morning and having a bowl of Special K Red Berries (30g + skimmed milk to soften it)... 3 Marlboro and 2 cups of black tea (you can tell I'm getting up early, I manage more than half a cuppa)... then I'm walking into work (just about making the 10 minute walk in under 30 minutes - well, there's the little bowling alley menu, the Patisserie and the corner coffee shop before I get to the office... all with menus... and pretty food pictures in the window).... lunch is now the 'protein scavenge' in M&S and a bottle of water... protein, so I'm told, is supposed to keep you full for longer - don't pity me, I'm surviving on salmon, prawns, crab, sushi (yes, we get sushi up North!!!)..... then a 'torture stop' into Thornton's to buy Fereday some chocolates because I worry that he isn't getting enough calories.... today I bought the white chocolate and fruit mini-bars selection for £6.... needless to say that he's rationing them and they're hidden in the fridge....Dinner equates to the balance of calories up to 1500/1600 which I can afford after breakfast and lunch....and a fair bit of 'grape juice', so tonight we had tuna....Rumour has it that there's a 'mini meal' which takes place between Fereday coming in from work and me getting home when Fereday tops up on calorific lovely, jubbly food....(I'd say the rumours were spread by the house rabbits, but you'd think I was hallucinating for lack of nourishment!).... I'm guessing this is probably the best meal of the day - but I couldn't swear to that.... I'm never home to share it!Incidentally, if anyone is looking for a sideline to the gardening business - and some free help - you could do worse than offer 'team building days' to jaded executives..... "Right, the object of this exercise is to clear the field of all weeds and plant an orchard.... you'll be divided into four teams...... and I'll be sat here under this brolly if anyone needs some advice....." At the very least, on a really hot day, you could manage to rid the world of a couple of bankers or civil servants!
Votes: 0
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of Landscape Juice Network to add comments!

Join Landscape Juice Network

Open forum activity

Peter sellers replied to David Benson's discussion liquid moss killer
"Pro kleen liquid iron sulphate direct from Pro kleen around £21 for 2x5lts delivered. We put 2.5lts in a 12lt knapsack, thoroughly wet area, avoid hot windy days.
Have used it for years highly recommend."
23 hours ago
Martin Ashdown posted a discussion
We chat over knowing your numbers, eating frogs and RASI forms. Please like and share to help us grow this channel.https://open.spotify.com/episode/0PwhpTOoJrhqiyRRK32qM7?si=252f7534...
23 hours ago
Dave Colton replied to David Benson's discussion liquid moss killer
"I haven't use liquid iron but do use soluble iron sulphate, takes a wee bit more mixing as it's a powder but I find it goes further and is cheaper than the liquid, I get mine from agrigem."
yesterday
David Benson posted a discussion
i have to treat some small areas of lawn with a lot of paving round them and one area there is a swiming pool. my usual way is lawn sand and a broardcast spredder but this is not ideal for this job, what liquid killer do you recomend for a knapsack…
yesterday
James Brett liked Martin Ashdown's discussion Two Ordinary Blokes in Business Podcast
Sunday
James Brett updated their profile
Sunday
Bryn Edmondson updated their profile
Sunday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Horrible in the wet just shows we are all different. I wouldn't even consider hayter for the terrible collection reason"
Sunday
Groundleader replied to Peter sellers's discussion Retirement advice
"This is definitely NOT my field of expertise, but I'd guess what most buyers might be interested in, could include:
1)  What's the realistic market value of your "hard" assets (vehicles, machinery, tools, materials etc).
2)  For the "goodwill" part…"
Saturday
Greenlawns replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"I've used Hayter harrier 56 pro mowers for 30 years . They're the best for maintenance,  admittedly not great in the wet , but I wouldn't change . "
Saturday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Interesting with the weibang I've had 1 for 5yrs bought new and it's been fine nothing to report as of yet which compared to the honda new needing a new back end after 18 months."
Saturday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Buy an old Honda roller mower, the new ones break in 18 months and cost you £500 that is then repeated every 12 months.
Either a honda or others the same which actually came out of the same factory with different names, sharp, lawnflite, kaaz, all…"
Saturday
Max alam posted a discussion
Im looking for my first 100 founding members to join and use canopy and i have approx 65 spaces left.. if your in the UK running a garden maintenance / landscaping company and could be intrested , feel free to enter the waiting list.Thecanopyapp.com
Thursday
Tim Bucknall replied to Daniel Gillings @ DC inc's discussion Rumble strips in lawn!
"Can you change the direction of mowing? Always using a roller mower in the same pattern can cause this.
 "
Thursday
Max alam posted a discussion
does anyone find themselves spending money on an invoicing and qouting app? do some of you use tradify to manage bookings and schedule?whats the best way to manage workflow when you get busy in the season ?
Apr 27
Paul Errington replied to Daniel Gillings @ DC inc's discussion Rumble strips in lawn!
"Try using a Turf Teq Power Rake to smooth it out. It will mill off the high spots and work the spoil into the low bits."
Apr 27
More…

how good does this look?

Im looking for my first 100 founding members to join and use canopy and i have approx 65 spaces left.. if your in the UK running a garden maintenance / landscaping company and could be intrested , feel free to enter the waiting list.Thecanopyapp.com

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 39

Invoicing / Quoting

does anyone find themselves spending money on an invoicing and qouting app? do some of you use tradify to manage bookings and schedule?whats the best way to manage workflow when you get busy in the season ?

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 49