It's not the dog, it's the owner....

The mistress of my favourite canine emailed me yesterday.... along with some work stuff, she also mentioned that she'd been enjoying my blogs recently.... she's remaining nameless in this blog post, because I want to do a little hymn of praise to the fabulous bubble of joy that is Newton the black labrador to balance out the rant I'm going to have a bit further on....So.... Newton.... Ahhhh, Newton..... he is everything a dog should be and more.... he wags not just his tail, but his entire back end to really emphasise just how overjoyed he is to see you .... Newton's greetings are like an oscillating black furry Chanel logo on fast forward.... beautiful big brown soulful eyes of a poet.... inside the doggie brain, he's certainly composing simple, perfect Haiku (mostly about squirrels, sticks, swimming and the park.... but read between the lines, there's the fundamental music of the universe twined into his fido verse.... it's a whole new Zen).... while you are in his realm, you are the sole object of his affection (as is everyone else who happens to be in the house.... he could teach Peter Mandelson a thing or two).... five minutes with Newton is better for your soul than chicken soup, hot bubble baths and aromatherapy candles everyday for a week.... He is, with no question, the World's Best Dog.....So.... from one extreme to the other....It saddened me to hear recently that not only are children and pets falling victim to so-called 'weapon dogs', but so are the nation's trees..... Apparently, to keep your weapon dog at peak performance, so it can really savage properly and not just do an average job, it's de rigeur to have it hang from a tree to strengthen its jaws.... hence bark damage followed by tree demise..... I thought this sounded a bit bonkers, so I did some 'research' and find there is some evidence.... See the Trees for Cities campaign 'Bark for Bark' on this link: Bark for Bark.What kind of person gets entertainment from hanging a dog from a tree in a park on a Saturday afternoon?... It just can't be that interesting a thing to watch.... What's wrong with television? Or video games? Or drinking and gambling, for that matter? And surely it has to be painful for or potentially damaging to the dog?.... Can you just imagine what Christmas is like in the house of someone who gets their dog to hang from a tree... 'Chihuahuas near the top on the smaller branches, please, Elizabeth.... James, if you could hang the mid-size terriers towards the middle..... oops, the lights have shorted again.... someone needs walkies.....'I just despair........ thank heaven for Newton..... if only he could telepathically communicate to all his doggie brethren: 'Jaws relax, branch free..... Run, roll, play, shake, wag.... A biscuit, good boy'

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