"The Ning Cycle"

AHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAH! After a period in the Wagnerian hinterland when Ning the Merciless refused me access to my blog - I'm back! I can't tell you how overjoyed I am - I'm even mixing my references.... 9 hours of Germanic opera sitting side-by-side with Flash Gordon - fabulous what you can do in cyberspace. Ooooh Oscar Wilde now - rumours of my imprisonment in a garden shed have been grossly exaggerated - Fereday doesn't have a shed to imprison me in (yet)! Anyway, I've descended on the keyboard and am probably looking very much like the spooky phantom organist to Fereday who is sat behind me watching the telly.So, what's new, then. Well.... I've obviously been ruminating alot on modern technology.... and it strikes me that the internet, for all its wonders, is replete with dull, unimaginative vocabulary....for example:"Spam" - something no one wants to see again now that we're not rationing food anymore is used to describe email which no one ever wants to receive - not very inventive, is it?"e-mail" - electronic mail.... gee, clever..... still, I guess the competion was "i-mail" or "internet mail"......"trojan" - a virus, which disguised in an "i-mail" b*ggers the entire system, while most will get the Greek myth reference of the term.... it may amuse some of you to know that in the US, "Trojan" is a brand of things men get from the barber when they "yes" to the question "something for the weekend, sir?" (I'm a dreadful prude in print - blame my Catholic updragging - we have this ingrained belief that if we don't commit it to paper or mention it in front of a nun, god won't see it! Nuns are like god's Darleks - they seek out and destroy!)So, this gets me to thinking that we need to be more inventive and fun with our techie words and, given the virtual surroundings, give them a bit of gardening-lingo twist..... may I offer:"Cyber-mole" instead of trojan..."virtual seeds" or "v-seeds" for emails...."dud v-seeds" for those emails you write, but NEVER send... perhaps more appropriately called "chardonnay post-watershed death letters"...."tippled quarks" for those emails you write and didn't mean to send..... and intend to deny!"composter" instead of the (very boring) "recycling bin"Oh, it's so good to be back!
Votes: 0
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

Comments

  • It's good to have you back!

    With you on the nun thing. I too had a convent 'education', the memories of those scary nuns appearing to 'float' along stone corridors, head to floor in black, still fills me with horror.

    Sent and received many 'tippled quarks'!
This reply was deleted.

You need to be a member of Landscape Juice Network to add comments!

Join Landscape Juice Network

Open forum activity

Peter sellers replied to David Benson's discussion liquid moss killer
"Pro kleen liquid iron sulphate direct from Pro kleen around £21 for 2x5lts delivered. We put 2.5lts in a 12lt knapsack, thoroughly wet area, avoid hot windy days.
Have used it for years highly recommend."
16 hours ago
Martin Ashdown posted a discussion
We chat over knowing your numbers, eating frogs and RASI forms. Please like and share to help us grow this channel.https://open.spotify.com/episode/0PwhpTOoJrhqiyRRK32qM7?si=252f7534...
16 hours ago
Dave Colton replied to David Benson's discussion liquid moss killer
"I haven't use liquid iron but do use soluble iron sulphate, takes a wee bit more mixing as it's a powder but I find it goes further and is cheaper than the liquid, I get mine from agrigem."
yesterday
David Benson posted a discussion
i have to treat some small areas of lawn with a lot of paving round them and one area there is a swiming pool. my usual way is lawn sand and a broardcast spredder but this is not ideal for this job, what liquid killer do you recomend for a knapsack…
yesterday
James Brett liked Martin Ashdown's discussion Two Ordinary Blokes in Business Podcast
Sunday
James Brett updated their profile
Sunday
Bryn Edmondson updated their profile
Sunday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Horrible in the wet just shows we are all different. I wouldn't even consider hayter for the terrible collection reason"
Sunday
Groundleader replied to Peter sellers's discussion Retirement advice
"This is definitely NOT my field of expertise, but I'd guess what most buyers might be interested in, could include:
1)  What's the realistic market value of your "hard" assets (vehicles, machinery, tools, materials etc).
2)  For the "goodwill" part…"
Saturday
Greenlawns replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"I've used Hayter harrier 56 pro mowers for 30 years . They're the best for maintenance,  admittedly not great in the wet , but I wouldn't change . "
Saturday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Interesting with the weibang I've had 1 for 5yrs bought new and it's been fine nothing to report as of yet which compared to the honda new needing a new back end after 18 months."
Saturday
Sam Bainbridge replied to Dougie's discussion Looking for a new roller machine
"Buy an old Honda roller mower, the new ones break in 18 months and cost you £500 that is then repeated every 12 months.
Either a honda or others the same which actually came out of the same factory with different names, sharp, lawnflite, kaaz, all…"
Saturday
Max alam posted a discussion
Im looking for my first 100 founding members to join and use canopy and i have approx 65 spaces left.. if your in the UK running a garden maintenance / landscaping company and could be intrested , feel free to enter the waiting list.Thecanopyapp.com
Thursday
Tim Bucknall replied to Daniel Gillings @ DC inc's discussion Rumble strips in lawn!
"Can you change the direction of mowing? Always using a roller mower in the same pattern can cause this.
 "
Thursday
Max alam posted a discussion
does anyone find themselves spending money on an invoicing and qouting app? do some of you use tradify to manage bookings and schedule?whats the best way to manage workflow when you get busy in the season ?
Apr 27
Paul Errington replied to Daniel Gillings @ DC inc's discussion Rumble strips in lawn!
"Try using a Turf Teq Power Rake to smooth it out. It will mill off the high spots and work the spoil into the low bits."
Apr 27
More…

how good does this look?

Im looking for my first 100 founding members to join and use canopy and i have approx 65 spaces left.. if your in the UK running a garden maintenance / landscaping company and could be intrested , feel free to enter the waiting list.Thecanopyapp.com

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 38

Invoicing / Quoting

does anyone find themselves spending money on an invoicing and qouting app? do some of you use tradify to manage bookings and schedule?whats the best way to manage workflow when you get busy in the season ?

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 49