"The Ning Cycle"

AHHHHHHHHHHH HAAAH! After a period in the Wagnerian hinterland when Ning the Merciless refused me access to my blog - I'm back! I can't tell you how overjoyed I am - I'm even mixing my references.... 9 hours of Germanic opera sitting side-by-side with Flash Gordon - fabulous what you can do in cyberspace. Ooooh Oscar Wilde now - rumours of my imprisonment in a garden shed have been grossly exaggerated - Fereday doesn't have a shed to imprison me in (yet)! Anyway, I've descended on the keyboard and am probably looking very much like the spooky phantom organist to Fereday who is sat behind me watching the telly.So, what's new, then. Well.... I've obviously been ruminating alot on modern technology.... and it strikes me that the internet, for all its wonders, is replete with dull, unimaginative vocabulary....for example:"Spam" - something no one wants to see again now that we're not rationing food anymore is used to describe email which no one ever wants to receive - not very inventive, is it?"e-mail" - electronic mail.... gee, clever..... still, I guess the competion was "i-mail" or "internet mail"......"trojan" - a virus, which disguised in an "i-mail" b*ggers the entire system, while most will get the Greek myth reference of the term.... it may amuse some of you to know that in the US, "Trojan" is a brand of things men get from the barber when they "yes" to the question "something for the weekend, sir?" (I'm a dreadful prude in print - blame my Catholic updragging - we have this ingrained belief that if we don't commit it to paper or mention it in front of a nun, god won't see it! Nuns are like god's Darleks - they seek out and destroy!)So, this gets me to thinking that we need to be more inventive and fun with our techie words and, given the virtual surroundings, give them a bit of gardening-lingo twist..... may I offer:"Cyber-mole" instead of trojan..."virtual seeds" or "v-seeds" for emails...."dud v-seeds" for those emails you write, but NEVER send... perhaps more appropriately called "chardonnay post-watershed death letters"...."tippled quarks" for those emails you write and didn't mean to send..... and intend to deny!"composter" instead of the (very boring) "recycling bin"Oh, it's so good to be back!

"Others have ID ed it.
I chop them off at ground level with secutears then spray a drop or two of Praxys on the wound... if it doesnt killt he first time, it will the 2nd or 3rd"

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Comments

Kerrie John-The garden design Co July 3, 2008 at 8:38am

It's good to have you back!

With you on the nun thing. I too had a convent 'education', the memories of those scary nuns appearing to 'float' along stone corridors, head to floor in black, still fills me with horror.

Sent and received many 'tippled quarks'!