Wild Fereday hunting....

Finding Feredays...In response to the query on where you can get a Fereday, I offer the following guidance.There is no "Feredays-R-Us", I'm afraid, and they don't stock them at B&Q or Homebase.Feredays can usually be found in the wild. Cultivated ones may very rarely be found (and are usually only spotted very early in the morning in Wickes or Screwfix), so go for a wild one instead. The best hunting grounds are "post-festival" fields.... near to where the mushrooms are growing. If you have a time machine handy, then Glastonbury or the Phoenix Festival grounds circa 1997 were known for their excellent crops of these fellows.On first inspection (usually from a fair distance) the wild Fereday is not appealing. But perservere, it should be worth it.Here are some tips for the wild Fereday hunter....- it will be "dirt-caked" (or "face paint-caked", though larger varieties may be "cake-caked");- it will be low-growing, even "prostrate";- its fragrance will not be appealing when in the wild (it may also be giving off a low moan, depending on what it has imbibed);- foliage is akin to "dreadlocks" and its not for nothing that the common name is the "greater spotted hairy matted festival fool" (rather fun, that!);- its roots rest on the ground, rather than below, and resemble hobbit feet;- it will be reluctant to move from its position and attempting to drag it out will only lead to frustration, instead "undermine" it by digging round its position and beliefs, and removing the weeds that seem to choke it and hold it in place (often these weeds are of the "dodgy mate" or "guys from the band" variety - very sticky and unpleasant!!!); and- transporting it home in the car - you MUST cover the upholstery with a thick layer of newspaper and roll all the windows down!Once home, feed and water it. With plenty of sunlight, feeding, watering, and tending in a pleasant environment (i.e., broadband internet enabled, clean space), it should in the first season be amenable to training and begin growing in the right way. In the first season, provided that you have given it the right conditions, it should blossom with an interest in Italian cookery, photography, art, music, the theatre, flattery, your family and - most importantly - conversation.Seriously though, found mine in a bar!
Votes: 0
E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of Landscape Juice Network to add comments!

Join Landscape Juice Network

Open forum activity

Neil Ruddick replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"According to AI, certain groups (eg., those unable to use digital tools due to age, disability, or location) may apply for exemption from MTD.  It gives GOV.UK as the source of that information.
It certainly suits me to stick to paper.  I am…"
14 hours ago
Peel Projects updated their profile
yesterday
Fusion Media posted a blog post
Aimee Davey joins ICL at a key point as the business moves into a busy period of campaign and product activity across its Turf and Landscape portfolio, taking on the role of Marketing Communications Manager for the UK and Ireland.Aimee brings strong…
yesterday
Ian Harvey replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
""I like Nigel he's lived in the real world."
Yep- private school eduction, then his Dad (a city trader) gets Nigel a city trader job. His only ever job, before becoming an MEP.
Yep- that's the real world isn't it!
I wasn't suggesting that Reform…"
yesterday
Peter sellers replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"I'm with you on this. Just had a look at the betting odds for the next general election as it's not often the bookies get it wrong from the odds offered they predict a landslide victory for reform😃.
So we will have to be patient and put with what we…"
yesterday
Honey Badger replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"I'm hopping for asylum in America "
Tuesday
Honey Badger replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"Anyone with half a brain knows that's common knowledge.
'You will own nothing and be happy'
Last general election i red the manifestos of tories, Labour and reform. The only one that was realistic and contained common sense was reforms.
Tories and…"
Tuesday
Honey Badger replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"Labour will do anything to win votes.
Including burning our country to the ground just to prove a point."
Tuesday
Peter sellers replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"Just setting off in my dinghy from Calais"
Tuesday
Ian Harvey replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"You do realise that it was the Conservative Party who introduced MTD in 2019 and then expanded it in law to include income tax self assessment in 2022. Nothing that Labour could do to stop it, even if they wanted to.
As for Nigel, if you are…"
Tuesday
Peter sellers replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"Yes, I'm pissed off too, fed up of supporting the druggies, alcos and bone idle who have 6 kids with no intention of supporting themselves,Rachel in accounts has just made that more of a lifestyle choice. Hope Nigel will sort this broken country…"
Tuesday
Peter sellers replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"Thats ok for you youngsters, who are capable of using this shit. What about the rest of us appriaching 70? When I was at school calculators were a novelty!  There are a lot in this trade who will just pack it in or go off grid, its more interference…"
Tuesday
Honey Badger replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"It's important as the 48% of working people to provide for the impoverished depending on the welfare state. 
If fat jayden with adhd doesn't get his macdonalds via delivero everyday he gets anxiety attacks.
His parents that have never worked still…"
Tuesday
Ian Harvey replied to Peter sellers's discussion Making tax digital
"Most of the business software packages such as QB, Zero etc are fully MTD ready. Some of these, such as Zoho Books, Wave, QuickFile are free for small businesses, and Freeagent is free if you have certain bank accounts.
The MTD idea is to stop small…"
Tuesday
Peter sellers posted a discussion
Thought there might be some unaware of this. So briefly and I am not an accountant . As from 6th April 26 anyone who has income from self employment, rent from property etc or a combination that equates to a turnover of 50k or more (not profit) will…
Tuesday
Neil Darby replied to Neil Darby's discussion Dirty subject.
"it thats what you are happy doing up to you. 8 turds last week & another 3 this. The client is been notified that I quit. .Edit, excuses excuses.please come back."
Monday
More…

Making tax digital

Thought there might be some unaware of this. So briefly and I am not an accountant . As from 6th April 26 anyone who has income from self employment, rent from property etc or a combination that equates to a turnover of 50k or more (not profit) will…

Read more…
12 Replies · Reply by Neil Ruddick 14 hours ago
Views: 225